Explore a treasure trove of wisdom and insight from Chris Rock through their most impactful and thought-provoking quotes and sayings. Broaden your horizons with their inspiring words and share these beautiful quote pictures from Chris Rock with your friends and followers on popular social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blog - all free of charge. Delve into our collection of the top 206 Chris Rock quotes, handpicked for you to discover and share with others.

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day. By Chris Rock

The U.S government hates rap music By Chris Rock

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. By Chris Rock

You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat cools off. By Chris Rock

The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh. By Chris Rock

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white. By Chris Rock

You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something. By Chris Rock

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options. By Chris Rock

You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere. By Chris Rock

The Democrats should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, and when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden. By Chris Rock

White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing. By Chris Rock

You'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on it, don't you think? By Chris Rock

After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college. By Chris Rock

I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck. By Chris Rock

One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?" By Chris Rock

I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy ... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie. By Chris Rock

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. By Chris Rock

If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window. By Chris Rock

Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof! By Chris Rock

There's bad and then there's EDDY CURRY BAD. By Chris Rock

Is America ready for a black president? Well, I say we just had a retarded one. When did being black become a bigger deterrent than being retarded? By Chris Rock

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity. By Chris Rock

When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative. By Chris Rock

Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!" By Chris Rock

Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep. By Chris Rock

I don't need a president with a bucket list! By Chris Rock

I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad. By Chris Rock

Being with my kids is the best, most fun thing; it's a privilege. By Chris Rock

Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it. By Chris Rock

I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks. By Chris Rock

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school. By Chris Rock

See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to. By Chris Rock

Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check ... is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!" By Chris Rock

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? By Chris Rock

I love being famous. It's almost like being white. By Chris Rock

When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium. By Chris Rock

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing. By Chris Rock

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special. By Chris Rock

Carol Leifer is funny, really funny. By Chris Rock

I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!' By Chris Rock

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career. By Chris Rock

Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life. By Chris Rock

When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time. By Chris Rock

You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face. By Chris Rock

I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with. By Chris Rock

Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie. By Chris Rock

I'd like to be in a Spike Jonze movie. But I live in a Nancy Meyers movie. By Chris Rock

If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny. By Chris Rock

You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time! By Chris Rock

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. By Chris Rock

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either. By Chris Rock

If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite. By Chris Rock

Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up. By Chris Rock

My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons. By Chris Rock

I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later. By Chris Rock

Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy. By Chris Rock

Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years. By Chris Rock

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous. By Chris Rock

It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever. By Chris Rock

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed. By Chris Rock

I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan! By Chris Rock

If I find a comedy club where no one's camera works, I'll go. By Chris Rock

When you're white, the sky's the limit. When you're black, the limit's the sky. By Chris Rock

America is the greatest country in the whole world. By Chris Rock

I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show. By Chris Rock

If you told me two years I would miss the greatest basketball game ever to hang out with Nathan Lane, I'd say, 'You're crazy!' By Chris Rock

I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house. By Chris Rock

No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend. By Chris Rock

You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems! By Chris Rock

Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on. By Chris Rock

Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person. By Chris Rock

I believe you have my property! By Chris Rock

If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail! By Chris Rock

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you. By Chris Rock

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself. By Chris Rock

I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it. By Chris Rock

Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, and the coldest-just in case we want to have a parade By Chris Rock

Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head. By Chris Rock

The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money. By Chris Rock

Not a Harvard-type education, ... Just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education. By Chris Rock

Emotional affairs, those are the only real affairs; those are the real ones. By Chris Rock

If you're a black Christian, you have a real short memory. By Chris Rock

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer. By Chris Rock

You don't pay taxes-they take taxes. By Chris Rock

I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central? By Chris Rock

No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.' By Chris Rock

Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest. By Chris Rock

I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness. By Chris Rock

Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was to be a teenager. Boy, was I wrong. By Chris Rock

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game. By Chris Rock

You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property. By Chris Rock

Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won! By Chris Rock

Men are as faithful as their options. By Chris Rock

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. By Chris Rock

I'm in show business ... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson. By Chris Rock

A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material. By Chris Rock

I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards. By Chris Rock

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else. By Chris Rock

Men are only as unfaithful as their options. By Chris Rock

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool. By Chris Rock

Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95. By Chris Rock

Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released. By Chris Rock

You don't pay taxes; they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack. By Chris Rock

Money is the best lotion in the world. By Chris Rock

A man is only as faithful as his options. By Chris Rock

The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you. By Chris Rock

Comedy is the blues for people who can't sing. By Chris Rock

Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa. By Chris Rock

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you. By Chris Rock

No, I want big ol' titties in my face! By Chris Rock

If you see a black woman with an overweight white man, you know she got effed up credit! By Chris Rock

People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t. By Chris Rock

When people try to read between the lines - critics, they have a job. Their job is to make something bigger than it is. By Chris Rock

If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner. By Chris Rock

Nobody really wants to be a stand-up, they want to get on TV. By Chris Rock

Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect. By Chris Rock

When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show. By Chris Rock

Yeah, it's unfair that you can get judged by something you didn't do, but it's also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn't work for. By Chris Rock

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking. By Chris Rock

I pray there's a God ... I know there's an Oprah. By Chris Rock

America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach. By Chris Rock

You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers. By Chris Rock

You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. By Chris Rock

Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along? By Chris Rock

Women need food, water, and complimentsThat's right.And an occasional pair of shoes. By Chris Rock

Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx. By Chris Rock

I live way below my means. By Chris Rock

The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs. By Chris Rock

It's hard for a man to turn down sex ... if they chase us, we can't run that fast. By Chris Rock

I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian. By Chris Rock

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage. By Chris Rock

You just got to be really logical when you're a comedian - to a fault. Like a lawyer's got to believe in the law. By Chris Rock

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other. By Chris Rock

When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be. By Chris Rock

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes. By Chris Rock

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House. By Chris Rock

I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird. By Chris Rock

Pretty girls have problems too. By Chris Rock

We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy. By Chris Rock

I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal. By Chris Rock

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing. By Chris Rock

Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks. By Chris Rock

No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better. By Chris Rock

You can only offend me if you mean something to me. By Chris Rock

A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000. By Chris Rock

School shootings were invented by blacks ... and stolen by the white man. By Chris Rock

A black Christian is like a black person with no memory. By Chris Rock

Black movies don't have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That's not a name, that's just a location. By Chris Rock

I ain't shooting nobody, so call me a faggot. When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs. By Chris Rock

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world. By Chris Rock

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to. By Chris Rock

For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business. By Chris Rock

Anything you can suck at should make you nervous. By Chris Rock

A comedian has to live in his head. All this comedy comes from a lonely place. When you're surrounded by an entourage, you're not living in your head. By Chris Rock

Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work. By Chris Rock

You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma. By Chris Rock

Oprah is so rich, I saw John Kerry proposing to her. By Chris Rock

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. By Chris Rock

There's math, and everything else is debatable! By Chris Rock

I think it's better to have ideas. By Chris Rock

I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws. By Chris Rock

I can't even put gas in my plane! By Chris Rock

A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture. By Chris Rock

If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money. By Chris Rock

Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest! By Chris Rock

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right. By Chris Rock

If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time. By Chris Rock

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty. By Chris Rock

Though part of me had always wanted to be a comedian, another part of me had always wanted to be Bryant Gumbel or Dan Rather. By Chris Rock

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars. By Chris Rock

Men lie the most,women tell the biggest lies. By Chris Rock

Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men. By Chris Rock

Men do not settle down. Men surrender. By Chris Rock

I mean no disrespect to anything I did before. By Chris Rock

If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets, By Chris Rock

You can't be happy that fire cooks your food and be mad it burns your fingertips. By Chris Rock

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'. By Chris Rock

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse. By Chris Rock

I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both. By Chris Rock

I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus ... and I can plate and set the table. By Chris Rock

Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit ... By Chris Rock

It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes. By Chris Rock

I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic. By Chris Rock

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense By Chris Rock

I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge. By Chris Rock

Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor. By Chris Rock

If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart. By Chris Rock

Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy. By Chris Rock

My movies are okay, but they're not my specials. By Chris Rock

God bless America, and no place else. By Chris Rock

Doing something really profound and personal is bigger than a fad. It's not some passing fancy.It's always number one. By Chris Rock

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time. By Chris Rock

I literally don't know what I'm going to do next. That's successful. By Chris Rock

Do you know?What the fuck do women want?l know what you want: everything. By Chris Rock

You got a gun, you don't have to work out. By Chris Rock

Kennedy didn't beat Nixon. Satire beat Nixon. By Chris Rock

I love black people, but I hate niggers. By Chris Rock

I do what I can do when I can do it. By Chris Rock

Hollywood's just not funny. By Chris Rock

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. By Chris Rock

You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched. By Chris Rock

Men lie the most. Men lie all the time. By Chris Rock

I love seeing black people do normal things, being judged as normal people. By Chris Rock

Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession. By Chris Rock

I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence. By Chris Rock

When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it. By Chris Rock