Discover the most popular and inspiring quotes and sayings on the topic of Poop. Share them with your friends on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, and let the world be inspired by their powerful messages. Here are the Top 100 Poop Quotes And Sayings by 96 Authors including Ryan Hansen,Jack Kerouac,John Cage,Kevin Hearne,Judy Blume for you to enjoy and share.

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Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.
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Nothin to do, Oh poo! Practically blue.
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Farting, don't think, just fart.
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poxy shitweasel,
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He even brags about his poops,
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I compose a reply. It is an emoticon of a smiling poo. It sums everything up.
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Ram it up your poop chute.
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Since man's highest mission on earth is to spiritualize everything, it is his excrement in particular that needs it most.
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Certain first-year-physics conservation-of-momentum issues dictated that I be showered with former pig bowel contents in order to enhance shareholder value.
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Suck my hemorrhoids!
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Do you take it in the pooper?
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Taking a dump...blackout
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- You know what this is?
- Nope
- It's a bowel disruptor. And you are just full of shit.
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Make a mess. Clean it up.
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You aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.
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Such poopitations of the heart as you would not believe.
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Inside my head, I shit my pants.
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One thing I don't like about crap:
its size that is too big to be digested.
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Vomit and shit, even your own, stink.
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First coffee, then a bowel movement. Then the Muse joins me.
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Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.
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So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient.
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I watched the piles of feces go up the conveyor belt ... They made their way through the machine ... A few minutes later I took a long taste of the end result: a glass of delicious drinking water.
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It is a little sad how many nights I have spent waiting for some animal to poop. The
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Take a strict view of their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool ...
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A good digestion turneth all to health.
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Pissing is the least of my talents. You ought to see me shit
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poo parlor division" instead of "loo.
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Shite and onions!
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I could have had a session of defecography, which is a diagnostic test in which X-rays are taken to assess anatomical problems occurring during the process of defecation. I gave it the briefest of thoughts before recognizing that this is beyond the pale - even for me.
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I emit, I hiss a rather tired and gentle word like "shit", then tear this page from the machine. it's your.
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You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.
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Philosophy! Empty thinking by ignorant conceited men who think they can digest without eating!
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Step, fart. Step, fart. Step, fart.
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The world needs an enema.
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Well, MacKenzie, YOU'RE the expert on toilets! It's only 8:00 a.m. and your BRAIN is completely CONSTIPATED while your MOUTH has a severe case of DIARRHEA! Please, go FLUSH!
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In the 50 years I've spent helping people to overcome illness, disability and disease, it has become crystal clear that poor bowel management lies at the root of most peoples' health problems.
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The cows hovered over the mountain
Creating a huge pooping fountain
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Shit is another useful word. Also very common. For example, pleasantly surprised? You say 'No shit?' You think someone tells you tales, you scoff 'You're shitting me.' You find something you like very much, you exclaim 'That's good shit!
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the mud. The poop was completely gone, tons of it just dissolved
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To Borody and a small band of like-minded brethren who believe in the power of poop, we are standing at the threshold of a new era in medicine. Borody sees the benefits of fecal therapy as "equivalent to the discovery of antibiotics." But first, there is much skepticism to overcome.
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And the feasts on the poop and the musicians.
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You miserable vomitous mass,
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Touch my dog and I will digest you slowly.
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You have severe mental constipation.
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The poop became a poop mountain; the pee became a pee ocean. And then somehow a Poop and Pee Airline was invented to fly travelers to Poop Mountain and Pee Ocean, although the code name for the airline was Dolphin Airlines, to keep the unsuspecting from being tipped off.
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He sees, and smells, that the mishap was caused by a large human turd.
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Dogs are angels full of poop.
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I always have to shit before a fight.
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Is a decent bowel movement too much to ask for?
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Haven't you heard? Constipation is the new black. All the cool kids are doing it. Or not doing it.
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In went water and loaves of blackbread and sausages and cheese, and out can shit and piss and language.
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The Cure: A new dimension of the word 'crap'.
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JARED: Please stop saying feces. It gives me the creeps.
JOURNEY: I wish I could, but I'm genetically unable to bow to your will.
JARED: I've noticed that...
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sucking on a football.
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I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom
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gastrointestinal problems
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My brain has farted so hard it might've pooped a little.
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It is complete loose stool water. It is arse-gravy of the worst kind. - About The Da Vinci Code
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Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I have ever seen in my life - no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito.
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Get shitfaced, then face the shit.
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No one has yet been born in this world that has the independent control to defecate at will. One will realize this when he becomes constipated!
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stuff and nonsense
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Save Gas, Fart in a Jar.
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I do not give a sh*t, the toilet miss me now
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Guards! Summon the holy kitty litter! Mr. Scruffy demands poopsies!
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I fart in your general direction.
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You're born, you take shit

get out in the world, you take more shit

climb a little higher, take less shit.

till one day you're in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like.

Welcome to the layer cake, son.
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People often shit themselves when they die. Their muscles slack and their souls flutter free and everything else just...slips out.
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If I find a cow turd on my front steps, I'm not satisfied knowing that I'll be mentally prepared to find some future cow turd. I want to shovel that turd onto my garden and hope the cow returns every week so I never have to buy fertilizer again.*
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Life is a stew, and pot is poop.If someone stirred even a teeny-bit of poop in the stew, would you really want to eat it?
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One of the few times in a man's life when he is not full of shit!!
The morning of a colonoscopy. Enough said!
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Pepto-Bismol straight from the bottle.
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If I had bodily functions, I think I would have peed my pants.
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You are all made of real poop.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Fart and you're on your own.
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Tonight I am going to defecate on stage because I think that is the only way to express the nature of my soul according to rock and roll.
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I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.
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Damn, piss, shit, fuck!
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The crap and the trash of the world. Post-consumer human butt wipe that no one would ever go to the trouble to recycle.
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The main thing is: Don't take any shit.
That's the main thing.
The unmain thing is: You are not going to figure anything out except how to get other people to take shit, so forget about everything except not taking any yourself.
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Sometimes, music is like poop. It just has to come out.
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SHIT, OR GET OFF THE POT
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I was deep in the poo poo dungeon.
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Faeces by any other name would smell as gross
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deep shit before,
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I spent a wretched five minutes throwing up everything I'd ever eaten, ever thought about eating, or would eat in the future. I
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I'm going to shit in your lungs for this.
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a bag of wet farts. But
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Civilization rests on two things: the discovery that fermentation produces alcohol, and the voluntary ability to inhibit defecation. And I put it to you, where would this splendid civilization be without both?
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There are certainly a good number of
alternatives to "shit," if you have a particular need to express such a feeling.
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I have a natural propensity to work on big piles of poop.
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I decide to release myself the only way I can imagine: I pee my pants.
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I'm all about that shit."
Mom shoots me the Disapproving-Mom-Subtle-Lip-Frown.
"I'm all about that poop," I correct delicately.
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Simon: that's disgusting!
me: what's disgusting?
simon: you know. you put your thing in the place where he, um, defecates.
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I need a bathroom. And there are way too many people around here for us to
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I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
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I shit bricks, because I'm a constructive pooper.
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If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior's hindquarters, constipation is the least of his problems.
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Just eat it and shit it and be done with it and don't feel special cuz you eat that shit with someone because in the end we all shit alone!